So much resonates, as it always does. I'm 49 and have felt for the last six months or so, that I've begun to say hello to myself (again). It's exhausting and exhilarating.
I feel like I could have written this! I told Scott last week that I feel subsumed by our family's life. We are (mostly) spending our time in all good ways (minus reminding children 1000x per day to do the thing they know they are already supposed to be doing). And I still feel... like I'm a cruise director and not a passenger with their own itinerary. I'm struggling to know what I can set down in order to pick up some of that missing sprawling time for myself. The logistics for me to be away for even an evening feels like training for an Olympic sport... and we *only* have two kids, and they are *only* involved in one evening activity that *only* meets 2x a month. And yet.
The image of losing the thread of yourself is one I'm going to be thinking about. I feel like I'm holding a lot of threads, but which thread is me? Or are any of them? What thread(s) are all of the things I've been handed and told to carry? Something to ponder, for sure.
Parenthood is all-consuming in a way I was honestly unprepared for and am still surprised by. Now my fear is that it will *always* be like this if I don't figure out how to untangle those threads and choose which ones I want to hold/follow! We are in this together!
So much resonates, as it always does. I'm 49 and have felt for the last six months or so, that I've begun to say hello to myself (again). It's exhausting and exhilarating.
I hope we never stop meeting ourselves where we're at. ❤️
I feel like I could have written this! I told Scott last week that I feel subsumed by our family's life. We are (mostly) spending our time in all good ways (minus reminding children 1000x per day to do the thing they know they are already supposed to be doing). And I still feel... like I'm a cruise director and not a passenger with their own itinerary. I'm struggling to know what I can set down in order to pick up some of that missing sprawling time for myself. The logistics for me to be away for even an evening feels like training for an Olympic sport... and we *only* have two kids, and they are *only* involved in one evening activity that *only* meets 2x a month. And yet.
The image of losing the thread of yourself is one I'm going to be thinking about. I feel like I'm holding a lot of threads, but which thread is me? Or are any of them? What thread(s) are all of the things I've been handed and told to carry? Something to ponder, for sure.
Parenthood is all-consuming in a way I was honestly unprepared for and am still surprised by. Now my fear is that it will *always* be like this if I don't figure out how to untangle those threads and choose which ones I want to hold/follow! We are in this together!